expressing negativity

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Sunday, July 17, 2005

2 wks aft i had my fill of mid yrs, i came to some sort of enlightenment

i feel tt all of us in this world r like guinea pigs. we r experiments of others hu were once a guinea pig too. becuz all of us had to go thru torturous stuff in our life - TEST.

frm the first cells tt created us to the period of cremation, we have been under all sorts of test. a typical children-exam test. love test during teenage yrs. interviews r undoubtedly a test of ur personality n suitability. the test for parents to take care of children. or even under the tests of the rules of one's religion, on whether we could abide by them. im sick of it. seriously

how i got my responses? well. thx to the performance of ikan bilis by the tsd students of 2004. hehex. sounds quite funny though. in their piece. I THINK it juz simply says tt humans r expts of others in the future. n they tried different stimuli on the expts to get their responses.

well. in relation to tt. i think now. we students r the humans under expts. n the teachers r the "scientists" observing us. i mean in test they demand certain response from certain qns. if nt, it is deemed wrong. or so called the anomalous response. on the frnt pg of exam papers (memorably the gp paper), it clearly stated tt u can hand in a blank sheet of paper. tada. tts ur response to tt qn. its anomalous btw.

according to our responses. we r graded. juz like how we tabulate results in our SPA assessment. we r noted of our trend. whether we r the stupider( bad in response) of cleverer(better in response) students. when we proceed to join the society. we r inevitably ranked too. there comes the big MERITOCRACY. the grades tt we achieved r correspondingly sorted into our different occupations. differently-ranked occupations. this is so because " we r supposed to maximise our potential to serve the society". y r we sorted? bk to the responses my dear.

r we machines? or robots? sorted out to cater to different needs. n as we grow older. demand for us decrease. we r devalued in some sense. n as we take our last breaths, we r no longer useful to the society. n new batches of differently-graded-in-terms-0f-their-response people r here to take our places as we fade away.

wow..where has the old simple caveman died to? has it lost it simplicity or his domesticity? dun we have dreams? desires? or even a wish? where has the 'true' gone to? r our hearts like 'the thing' in fantastic 4? i dun think so? so long as i see a glimpse of light. i dun think it will even flicker. i think all these rubbish systems r driving me nuts.

so whats the use of owning a strong nation? competition among nations isnt gonna end anytime soon. its juz the beginning my dear ones. wadeva they r comparing, the basis is on the individuals tt make up the nation. n its bk to the responses my dear. so wads our ideal nation? i dun think i see it. neither will the future generations. at most wad we r working against is the sun's future explosion followed by the disapperance of the Milky Way.

bk to the tests. i think its gr8t to exterminate this lifetime project n start anew. buts its plainly impossible. go tell a person tt. i bet he will laugh his head off. literally. so long as we set foot on this piece of land. we r doomed with this fate

unbelievable

okie..i crapped... if u dun understand...nvm...juz tag n give comments...

im going nuts...thx!

tata!

2:21 AM::i hate yOu::

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Tuesday, July 05, 2005

hey ppl! kinda sianz today...so blog lor...diaoz

so sat...rotted at hm...too tired aft the noise aft chma...need to sort my mind...

sun...ivan sl n i went to crazy again...supposedly shopping..but realised tt we r bad shoppers...so forget it...do our forte manz! hahax! anw.. we den played like crazy...ivan was a crazy bitch i have to say!! haha! n we watched a lot like love the movie...nt bad..i hope my love life will be as sweet as them! so cute! ooooppppzzzz! den went marina crazy again till 11.30pm b4 going hm..hahax

mon went out with yk n pig...supposedly cam agreed to go..but he cant make it in the end..so the 3 of us watched a movie called Six.. i dun understand the story at all!! hahx! kept bugging the 2 of them wat the movie's about...cuz i cant stand leaving the cinema without understanding the movie i've watched..wadeva..so we went hm aft tt..quite dull yet i had a great time with the 2 of them!!

den today...madness..quite weird...i wasnt tired in the morning..den slowly i got tired...normally it worked vice versa..wadeva...den ordered pizza...hehex..craving for it so much during the lecture..ooopzzz!! den in the end only 4 of us, doe me hj n muhammad started to attack the pizza...poor george! den phy came ms cai..i felt so guilty for making her like stuck on her 1st day...so paiseh actually..but i was really confused about dynamics..of course muz ask lahz.. den maths lecture was as usual..so hot..gp slacked like hell.. maths gave bk papers..shant say the marks..but im happy with it..den wanted to go acres to return them the $..they were closed..crap! den went to eat at coffeeshop with yk n pig again..i luv going out with them..so fun!! hehex! oh yahz class s11! go sentosa on aug 9 can? play anything under the sun k?

nw... im in my hse...in total mess! dunno y...like v dusty...cuz of the stupid morset( is this how u spell it?) nw my hse so dusty!! yux!!! hate it...den kept diarrhoea-ing...shit...wow...

kkz...maybe theres nothing much to say aftall...hahax

tata!

9:41 PM::i hate yOu::

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Saturday, July 02, 2005

wow! guess all of ya miss me? hehex? so shameless. wadeva... anw i noe its totally insane to blog at this kind of unhumanly time. hahax. ooopppzzzzz....need to catch up with jonny siaz. oooppz!

review of jun hols. ok. here's a list of wad i did:

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im surprised! NOTHING HAS BEEN DONE! excluding major rotting n trying-to-study times! tts wad i did. well. although there were incidents where slippers r broken in the middle of the road. freaking-outs for mids exams. ppl (or person) hu almost got tarred together with the road @ orchard. it doesnt make my hols any colourful than b4....sianz.

relative to time. we zoom past them. here we r finally. zooming to our mids exams. every1 seems to be in despair. 'aiyahz i nv study lahz' is the hot thing going on in the sch for the wk. i hear in at the frequency of my breathing. pls. they've oredi done their stockpile like some ppl. they r juz waiting for a chance to spit them out.

getting really freakout during exams is norm for me. n its real lor. ooooopppzzzz...i dunno if some ppl act scared or wad. cant tell. im bad at judgement. juz luv to use my intuition. hehex.i had insomnia b4 gp paper. my temp starts to escalate like the water in my kettle. cant think. cant process info. wadeva. tts me during exams. worse comes to worst. i will be like tt boiling water in the kettle. scream aft the water boils. hahax

as for the papers. i think its rather manageable except for some. nv really expect it to be quite ez. i expect tt when i look at the qn. my attitude for tt paper would change to tt time whenever i took my lit test - simply cant be bothered. oopz! but wadeva. still gotta show i put in effort. so i juz add in 1 line to give them face. a bit diaoz i noe.

some ppl complain a lotz aft the paper. saying its so hard. but whenver u checked ans with them. its seems otherwise to u nw. is he or she lying? so hideous. act humble. feel like laying my palms on their faces. of course to clean them aft tt. they juz luv to make u worry. oooo. although im guilty of such actions sometimes. at least i dun frequent it.

well. aft this daily routine of activities for 4 days 4 me. i think like most other ppl. they dun feel different. me too. i think its because i nv left my hol mood since 19 nov 2004. ooooppppzzzz! quite long n yet my soul is still eons behind. cant accept wad my body n mind is going thru for the past 8 mths+. well. i couldnt care less. juz did wad i was supposed to do everytime aft exams. play. yes..(mary alice youngly) PLAY! BIG TIME! so i watched war of the worlds. it scared my stress away. gd thing! den i think the plot is there n logical n fluent n the elements of comedy was still acceptable. but no twist. i rather expected tom cruise to get caught n be the hero of the day. although he's nt the biggest hero. effects-wise. quite gd. actually its a slight imitation of star wars 4 some parts of the show. hahax. character-wise. dakota. she's my idol of screaming. she ain't tired of it. im appalled at such kinda talent. i want it. badly. hahax. as for tome cruise. quite bitchy. hahax. wad an irony. juz luv a quote frm the movie. roughly. it sounds like "occupation always fails. tts wad history taught us"

den wenta play pool to fulfill jer's wishes. hahax. kinda nice to juz have time together. at least we maximise our time to tok n play simultaneously. enjoyed tt dayh totally. im esp glad tt i took a last train. n im the 2nd last passenger to leave the station. ooooooo.

watched intital d the nxt day. class outing supposedly when only 1/3 of the class is presnet. well. at least better than the other time. hahax. forget it. anw initial d was simply plotless to me. or even if there is its simple. maybe too simple for me to comprehend. anw. i think its rather comedic. n i think the racers were rather cool. i luv tt pair of shoes tt jay chou wore. i think tts nice. oh. toking about jay. i think he's most suitable for the role. but he cant cry for crying out loud! hahax. but overall the movie was still acceptable cuz its practically a comedy to me.

den went for chma with the gang + gerald. the show was still initially. the rock band displaced my brain frm my skull. so irritating. yahz. cant believe it. i cant believe tt there r things more irritating than me. crazy. but i enjoyed some solo vocalists performances n the instrumental was interesting for me. j jap was gd. i think he's improved since i last heard him sing. really A LOT! den wei ye was really gd. but he juz dun look like he can rap. hahax. wadeva. overall was rather bad. lightings were bad. the lights can only shine a certain area. n it always couldnt catch up with the person toking. hahax. crap. its rather lousy. esp in the situation tt reminds me of the oven bus when we took it to nature guiding. wow. disappointed.

well tts basically my life. rather boring. yeah. actually aft i wrote such reviews den i get a clearer pic. hahax. sorrie for nt blogging for so long ppl. cuz simply MOODLESS. i dun wanna blog juz becuz i feel compelled to. well. i created the blog to do wadeva i like to it. nt the other way round. hahax

kkz. cyaz. gtg catcha wink soon. although my eyes still like to see light. hahax

tata!

4:09 AM::i hate yOu::